Showing posts with label kids. Show all posts
Showing posts with label kids. Show all posts

Saturday, January 21, 2012

My Girl Wants To Potty All The Time*

*With apologies to Eddie Murphy**

Dear Parents,

As we enter the second half of the school year, we find ourselves needing to adress hallway behavior at Northside. The same behavior that is expected in the classrooms is also expected in the hallways. This is necessary to ensure the safety of your child as they travel to their classes. The following is a list of hallway procedures that all Northside students are expected to follow:

• Walk on the right side of the hall (This allows for a smooth flow of traffic on both sides of the hall.)

• Use inside voices (There should be no yelling in the hallways as this is a schoolwide disruption.)

• Keep feet and hands to oneself (This allows your child to travel safely to class without fear of being injured.)

• Go straight to class (This prevents tardies and eliminates "playing" time in the hallway.)

• Use appropriate language (This is an expectation at school at all times.)

In an effort to eliminate this hallway behavior, as well as eliminate "bathroom congregating," bathroom use will not be allowed between classes. If a student is found in the bathroom (or at the water fountain) between classes without a pass from a teacher, that student will receive a disciplinary note (d-note). To compensate for this, your child will receive 5 bathroom passes per 9-weeks per class. They will also have access to the batheoom during lunch. This is a necessary step to avoid congregation in the restroom areas between classes.

Failure to follow the above procedures will result in a d-note. These hallway procedures are not new to Northside, but we find it necessary to reinforce them at this time.

We appreciate you taking the time to read and go over this letter with your child. We will be going over these expectations at school, as well as posting them in the hallways.

Thank you,

6th grade Team

Please sign and return this portion of the letter.

I, _________________________, and my child, _________________________, have read and discussed this letter and we understand hallway procedures at Northside Middle School.

Parent Signature __________________________________________________
Student Signature _________________________________________________
Date _________________________

**Not really. He owes us, the collective peoples of the world, an apology for committing this crime against music (and humanity.)

Wednesday, January 12, 2011

Pics Or It Didn't Happen: I Still Make Stuff

Wow. It's been nearly a year since my first "I Make Stuff" post. How can that be? I don't even know. But the Internet never forgets, kids, so here's what I've worked on in 2010:

In March, I made a pair of mittens for myself. I had been stalking admiring the ones made by mom blogging rock star Angela over at FluidPudding and finally worked up the courage to give them a try. They were scary because I had never made anything with terrifying words like "thumb gussets" or using the "magic loop method", which frankly all sounded like dubious sexual acts and/or contraceptive methods. I only managed to get a photo of them (the mittens, not the sex acts) while in progress, but I made another pair later in the year, so you'll get to see those later in this post. They are called "Bella's Mittens", because the pattern was inspired by mittens worn by the Bella character in the Twilight movie. Don't hate, y'all - the pattern is gorgeous.


In May, I thought I'd give felting a try, finally. I spent much time and energy trying to decide on a mix of complementary colors, and in the process learned that I am really bad at it. I did not know that about myself.


And then suddenly it was summer. If you're a parent too, you know that summertime for parents is the exact opposite of summertime for kids. This is because there are no buses or hot lunches and it's eleven million degrees outside and everybody has to be driven to seventeen different places a day, and yet I still had to go to, oh I dunno, work. It's the summer days where my office is truly a vacation, people.

But you may recall that I made a condensation sleeve for CJ to take to camp, in June.


And I vowed that 2010 would be the year that I got the jump on Christmas knitting, so naturally I started with birthday and hostess gifts instead. I ended up making two of the rainbow bags for Renee's birthday (which, TO BE FAIR: December) and the purple one for when Rachel and Thom moved to Maryland.


Also in June I got the bright idea to hand knit by hand with my own hands a set of grocery bags for everybody's favorite vegetarian bunny huggers (our dear friends Tracy and Aaron). I figured: How hard could it be? Turns out: Pretty hard. Not that the pattern itself was all that hard, it just took forever to make four of them and by the time I was done I was so very, very, done. I finished the fourth bag on October 17. You may have already calculated that the duration of time spent knitting these bags is equal to that of a metric shitload. Of time. At least they're pretty.


And then it was later in July, and whoa! Jonesy and Donna were having a baby shower in twelve days. Twelve days to knit a baby blanket? CAN DO.


Meanwhile, the grocery bags were ongoing, and I was losing my mind, so I started knitting warm washable hats for the homeless. See, my friends are really good people, and they gather up food and go feed people who need to be fed on Thanksgiving day, in a local park. We call it Thanksgiving in the Park. The hats were sent along, except climate change hates us, hates us ALL, and it was nearly 70 degrees that day. So nobody really wanted a hat. Sadface. Thom and Rachel took them back to Baltimore, though, to give away up there. I hope they are getting used. Meredith models one of the hats:



OMG, Christmas knitting! Teacher gifts! Friend gifts! Crap! Now I'm behind, but I'm still knitting grocery bags! September sidebar: The Bella Lana Reversible Cable scarf, holiday gift for Meredith's primary teacher Mrs. P. I'm told she liked it!


In October, the grocery bag project was ongoing. Still. Forever. Teacher gift #2: A set of Bella's Mittens, this time for Mer's dramatic arts teacher. Purple and dramatic are totally her. She likes them, and is thankfully not allergic to 100% wool (I was worried).


It's still October! It's still holiday knitting! I'm still knitting grocery bags because they take forever! With my hands, by hand! Also Ginny really liked the yarn color I was using for Mrs. P.'s scarf, so I bought some in worsted and made a Very Braidy Ginny Cowl for Christmas. It looks really great on her, if I do say so myself.


And then it's October 31, I'm finally done with the grocery bags (hallelujah!), and my cousin and his wife welcome a beautiful baby girl. My cousin Brent is the first baby I was really around with any regularity, when I was a kid. He holds a special place in my cold shriveled heart, and now he's someone's DAD. OMG. This blanket was pretty difficult, at first, but I eventually got the hang of it. I started it on her birthday, and finished it December 6. I think it turned out great, and just look at sweet baby Claire!


The last project of the year was a last minute, weekend-before-holiday-break scarf. Mer came home from school on a Friday and said "My teacher says you’re very talented, and could you knit a scarf for J (her 6 year old)? It should be greens and white stripes. Thanks." So that’s what I did over that weekend. Mrs. P. later clarified that she meant for Meredith to ask what I would charge in money dollars to make such a scarf. I couldn't possibly, though.


So that was the knitting in 2010. If history is any indication, I probably won't post about knitting again until 2012. If you want to follow along in real-time, you should friend me on Ravelry.

Friday, June 25, 2010

For Harsh Betty

6:40am. CJ is in the kitchen, making himself an omelet. I am in Meredith's room, digging through the six-inch-deep layer of books, clothes, toys, shoes, and who the hell knows what which always covers her floor, attempting to locate something she's lost. Which: I don't even remember what it was, but she was wailing about it.

My right pinkie finger ever-so-gently brushes against a small tackle box. Not even enough of an impact to register as "I've touched something", but enough to knock the tackle box from its precarious position, which happens to be " completely open and balanced atop one shoe and maybe a barbie head". The box is, of course, full of loose beads that scatter absolutely everywhere, far and wide. There are probably some at your house, in California, that's how many of them there are and that's how big of a more-mess they made. OMG.

So, during the course of the room-mess-digging, CJ yells "Mom? Mom? Mom?" from the kitchen. He never comes to locate and then speak to me, no, he just yells my name until he finds me or I appear. I yell back, "JUST A MINUTE!" and finish explaining to Meredith just how much she will be cleaning her room before she is ever allowed to go anywhere ever again.

I exit her room, and join CJ in the kitchen, where I see that he has extracted a single-serving-size package of cheese cubes from its bag and is attempting to mince the cubes with a steak knife so that it will approximate shredded cheese, and then he intends to add it to his omelet.

Let me take a moment to point out that child had to actually move shredded cheese and sliced cheese out of the way to obtain the single-serving-size-snack-pack-bought-for-his-godforsaken-camp-lunches-which-you-may-have-read-about-on-this here-blog cheese. He informs me that had I appeared when he demanded it to be so, he would have been able to ask me about appropriate cheese, but I didn't, so he was forced to use the only cheese he could possibly find: The snack packs.

I refer you to "child had to actually move the shredded cheese and sliced cheese out of the way".

I would like to add: OH NO HE DI'IN. But oh, yes, he did.

The top of my skull removes itself from my head. "THAT IS NOT AN INGREDIENT, THAT IS A SNACK!"* comes flying out of my mouth. CJ looks at me like I've totally gone round the bend - and I make a mental note to tell you about it.

fin.

* "That's not a snack, that's an ingredient" © Harsh Betty

Tuesday, June 15, 2010

Condensation Sleeve

It's officially summer even though it's not officially summer, because it's stupid hot outside, the a/c struggles to keep up, and both kids are happily going about their summer camp experiences.

Sidebar: Big thank yous to everyone who offered suggestions about what to pack for lunch in the comments, on Facebook, Twitter, and LiveJournal, and wherever else that post propagated. So far (day two, heh) so good.

The challenges of packing for a full day of feeding a hollow-legged preteen are numerous. Not just what sorts of food, but but the right way to transport and store it, as well as how to keep it fresh and edible in a non-climate-controlled environment. We bought an insulated lunch container, and then set about tackling the problem of keeping the contents of said container cool.

Rather than purchase those freezer gel thingies (because they kind of freak me out), I thought: Why not just refill a drinking water bottle, and freeze it?

The only reason I could think up was condensation - as the ice in the bottle melts (Tim pointed out that the gel thingamabobs would do the same thing, anyway, so why bother buying them?) , the condensation on the outside would get the food items wet. Ew.

Not a big deal, in the grand scheme of things, I know, but why endure a tiny problem that could be solved via knitting?! :D

Condensation Sleeve

Materials
Directions
First, we're going to knit the base of the sleeve, starting from the center and increasing out until the area is large enough to cover the bottom of a 16oz water bottle.

R1: Cast on 7 stitches, divide across two needles
R2: Join, place marker between stitches 1 and 2 to help keep track, knit one round.
R3: Increase every stitch (14 stitches)
R4: Knit
R5: Distribute 4 increase stitches (18 stitches) across round (approx. every 3rd stitch)
R6: Knit
R7: Distribute 6 increase stitches (24 stitches) across round (approx. every 3rd stitch)
R8: Knit
R9: Distribute 8 increase stitches (32 stitches) across round (approx. every 3rd stitch)
R10: Knit
R11: Distribute 10 increase stitches (42 stitches) across round (approx. every 3rd stitch)
R12: Knit
Here's what the base looks like at this point:

Condensation Sleeve: Base
Any photo can be clicked to embiggen

Now we'll start working on the body of the sleeve with Round 13:

R13: K3, P3

At this point, repeat Round 13 until the sleeve is long enough to accommodate your bottle of ice. Bind off, and don't bother blocking!

Here's the finished product:

Condensation Sleeve: Lonely Condensation Sleeve: Action Shot

Here's the happy camper with his new mohawk, showing Condensation Sleeve enthusiasm:

Thumbs up for Condensation Sleeve Fistpump: Condensation Sleeve Edition

Thursday, June 3, 2010

Lunch and Two Snacks?

I need ideas.

One of my children will be attending a fantastic day camp this summer - the director assured me that the children always go home "tired and dirty at the end of each day". Which: PERFECT.

This camp, however, does not feed kids. There is no cafeteria. They require that each camper pack a lunch and two snacks every single day. So, basically, any food that the kids eat has to be prepared and sent from home. For 8 weeks.

Help. Oh, help.

I purchased one of those many-compartmented lunch cooler thing doohickey-mabobbers yesterday, so we have the containment unit handled. I will soon be purchasing some of those cold-brick things to include.

But what to pack? Please (oh please!) share some of your household's lunch-packing standards in the comments. Thank you!

Tuesday, June 1, 2010

Ten

My baby girl is ten years old today. Where has the time gone?

A Merry first five years:

Five
Click to embiggen

Her second five years:

Ten
Click to embiggen

Happy tenth birthday to my Merry baby. She's a complete joy, and I love her so much. I'm so lucky to be her mom.

Monday, May 24, 2010

Wheat Meat

Not too long ago, I noticed @carrier talking about something called seitan on The Twitter. Further investigation revealed that she could explain the entire recipe in under three tweets, which to me indicated one thing: Easy - and hey, I like easy! So even though I had no understanding of what the taste/texture should be, I knew I already had all the ingredients on hand, so I might as well try to make some...

And I did! And it didn't seem to be a miserable failure! So then I made some again. And again. And gave some to Tracy. She liked it! That's important, because she's a vegetarian, so it has to be good, right? Anyway, it's become a staple around our house, and folks be wantin' to know how it's made, so here you go.

Seitan

Ingredients
All photos can be clicked to embiggen
  • Whole wheat flour
  • Water (not pictured)
  • Vegetable broth, canned/boxed (not pictured)
  • Flavorings: Steak sauce, Soy sauce, various seasonings (in this case: Garlic, pepper, mustard, thyme)

Dump a bunch of flour into a bowl - I use a giant stainless bowl that fits pretty much exactly in one side of my sink. Add enough tepid water to make a kneadable dough:

Flour and Water Before Kneading

And then knead. I generally knead for about ten minutes, and I do it right in the same bowl I've been mixing in. If you have a bread machine or a mixer with a dough hook, I'm sure you're already using them by this point, but me? I mix and knead by hand, because I don't have those things. I like it, though - there's something satisfyingly old school about kneading dough by hand. Anyway, after kneading, the dough will look something like this:

After Kneading

Now, fill the bowl with water, because it's time to soak.

Soaking

...and walk away. Just walk away! The original tweets from Carrie said to soak it for two hours, but I tend to soak it for a minimum of two hours. Which is to say, I just deal with it when I get back around to it. So, go do whatever for awhile. Here are some ideas, from things I've done while seitan soaks: Naps, videogames, showers, rescuing family members from state parks, other naps...

Where was I?

Oh, right. Soaking. So, after you've soaked the dough, it's time to rinse it. You'll find that the dough has relaxed and softened...

After Soaking

...and basically now you're going to squish and squeeze and otherwise manhandle the dough until the water is more or less clear. Fill the bowl with water, manhandle awhile, dump the water out, refill... in other words: Rinse, repeat. What we're doing here is washing away as much starch as possible, to leave behind only the gluten. Wash, wash, wash. This takes long enough that my A.D.D. kicks in and I become convinced that it will never ever be done, so, eh, about fifteen minutes. Here, we're about halfway done with the rinsing. Notice that the mass is reducing in size. It's gonna do that.

Cloudy Water Mid-Rinse

By the time I give up and stop rinsing, the mass has reduced by at least half, and what's left is stringy and spongy, and for me evokes-memories-of-brain-dissections-in-high-school, or a bigass lump of chewed gum. I'm pretty sure I've never managed to get it all the way 'clean', but whatever, it's close enough:

Clear Water Rinsed

Now, the liquid. Again, I don't measure much: I used three cans of generic vegetable stock and the same amount of water. Then I dumped in half a bottle (or so) of steak sauce, a bunch of shots of soy sauce, maybe a tablespoon or so of minced garlic, and ten-ish of shakes of ground mustard, ten-ish shakes of thyme, and about 20 twists of pepper. I know, it's frustrating not to know exactly how much, but it really honestly doesn't matter. The only thing that I find you gotta have is the stock and two sauces - the rest is just whatever seems like it'll work. I bet a couple of bay leaves would be nice, but I don't generally keep them on hand these days. The point is, you want a strongly flavored liquid, because you want to infuse that flavor into the protein. Stir it all together, and bring it to a boil:

Flavorful Liquid

Now, squeeze as much water out of your seitan dough as you can. Here is where you have a decision to make. Slice it and throw it in the pot? That's what I do:

Sliced Seitan, Uncooked

...or you can also roll it in cheesecloth and tie it off in a sausage shape before tossing it in the pot (for a more dense and solid texture), or maybe even just drop the entire thing in. Whatever strikes your fancy.

Now, we boil. A low boil, for 30 minutes:

Cooking

When the timer goes off, fish it out with a slotted spoon. Congratulations, you've made seitan!

Completed Seitan

I put it all into a container with a tight-fitting lid and put it in the fridge, where I use it over about two weeks. Once it's completely chilled, it can be manipulated in a number of ways: I typically grate it, for a ground beefier texture, then I use it in place of beef in spaghetti sauce, tacos, queso, or wherever else I might use meat. Last night I even sliced it into chunks and tossed it into vegetable soup.

I like not depending so much on meat, all the time, and I like making what essentially amounts to somethin'-outta-nuthin'. I especially like that the kids totally accept it in their normally meaty meals, without complaint.

Wheat meat: Try it!

Wednesday, April 7, 2010

The Other White Meat

I don't generally dig on swine. Don't look at me like that, all "BUT WHAT ABOUT THE BACON PROM, BLAINE?" I don't think I need to tell you I love bacon, because so do you. Bacon tastes gooood.

Bacon is its own food group in my book, so it is exempt from my "Pork? Meh." attitude. Because: Pork? Meh. I think pork loins are far too expensive for what they are, the texture of ham oogs me out like you wouldn't believe, and often I just find the whole pork experience a little... gamey.

What I was really aiming for, anyway, was a cranberry delivery device. Cranberry and turkey together are done to death over the winter holidays, and early April is just too soon thereafter, as far as I'm concerned. But I really wanted cranberry, and it seemed like pork would bear the cranberry tang well, so:

Pork Chops with Red Wine Cranberry Sauce*


Click to embiggen
  • 4 boneless pork chops
  • 1 small onion (to be minced)
  • 1 can whole berry cranberry sauce
  • 1/2 cup chicken broth
  • 2/3 cup red wine (shiraz, in this case)
  • 3 T olive oil, divided
  • 2 T buttah, divided
  • granulated garlic
  • salt and pepper
  • asparagus
Yeah, that's refrigerated mashed potato in the background. Don't judge.

Asparagus Directions

Preheat oven to 400. Wash, trim, and dry the asparagus, then lay it out flat on a baking sheet. Drizzle it with about a tablespoon of olive oil, roll it around to coat, then season with salt, pepper, and a little granulated garlic. Stick it in the oven for 10 minutes, or however long it takes to roast to how you like it. I like mine to be pretty crunchy.


Click to embiggen


Red Wine Cranberry Sauce Directions

Dice, mince, or otherwise disassemble the onion into small pieces. Heat 1 tablespoon butter with 1 tablespoon oil, and then cook your onions until they are soft, translucent, and smelly in a good way rather than smelly in the offend-your-eyes way. Add the wine, broth, cranberry, a pinch of salt, and a few grinds of pepper. Boil this until it reduces to the consistency you like. Some rosemary might be nice, here, but I didn't have any, so whatever.


Click to embiggen

Pork Directions

Heat 1 tablespoon butter and 1 tablespoon oil in a large nonstick pan. Salt and pepper your chops, then arrange them in the pan so they are all lying flat. Honestly, would you just leave them alone? You don't need to wiggle them around all the time, press down on them, or poke/prod/flip and re-flip. Just let them be while they form a nice caramelized crust for about 5 minutes or so, and then flip them over for another 5 (I like to see 145 degrees on the instant thermometer in the thickest part of the chop). Take the chops out of the pan to rest for a good ten minutes. Be patient. No cutting until the chops have rested!


Click to embiggen

While the chops were resting, I microwaved the potatoes. Because really, if I can avoid peeling, boiling, and mashing potatoes? You bet your sweet potatoes I will.

Here's the final product, on the plate:


Click to embiggen

CJ refused the sauce, but did "gag down" four whole pieces of asparagus (due in large part to me telling him it would make his pee smell funny (he is a 12 year old boy, after all) and by reminding him that I still hadn't made up my mind about whether or not I would let him go to a pool party at a girl's house. And since we're now on the topic of my 12 year old son being invited to a pool party at a girl's house, can I just say: oh! em! eff! gee!).

*It is my sincere hope that any mention of "cranberry sauce" will evoke memories of the childhood "cranberry sauce song" earworm for my paternal cousins. More cranberry saaaaaaaaaaaaauce!

Monday, March 8, 2010

Pics Or It Didn't Happen: I Make Stuff

I've been knitting a lot, lately (as you may have noticed). I'm enjoying this, because I've leveled up my Skill of Understanding about how certain things work, and why. I'm still not very good at following patterns; I start off just fine, and then I completely lose it somewhere in the middle and do whatever I feel like doing, until I'm done. This is due in large part to my inability to keep track of where I am and what I've completed, in said pattern.

I'm working on that.

My knitting bender began with CK's Christmas gift, which I started (with much self-congratulation) early enough to complete in time for Christmas. And then I actually completed it in time for Christmas. Whoa. (I still almost can't believe that I stuck with it and met my self-imposed deadline!) I chose to knit it on needles which were smaller than recommended, and that worked out well for the scarf; poorly for my hands. This was slow-going, and painful; I could get four or five rows done and then need to stop for days. I spent those couple of months sporting pain patches and ace bandages on my hands during this project, and people acted like I was joking when I said it was a knitting injury. No, really. It was.

Anyway, I really for-real-this-time followed a pattern, though, and here's the finished product:

Palindrome Scarf
Click to embiggen

Then I made a softer, one-cable version for Tracy, but I don't have any photos of it, and I don't remember what the yarn was. It was soft and pretty and purple, though, and I liked how it turned out. Hey, Tracy, take a good photo or two, wouldja?

Next came Brenna's panda hat, which was a baby shower gift for Meg and Travis. This is the kind of knitting I do most often - make it up as I go along, and hope for the best. Tim pointed out the cuteness of making a panda hat out of bamboo yarn... which was entirely unintentional because I'm not that witty: I just liked the softness. I thought it was pretty funny when I saw Meg tell someone on Facebook that Brenna gets her ears from me. Hee!

Brenna's Panda Hat
Click to embiggen
Photo by Travis (used with permission)

Around the same time, we learned that CK was going to be a daddy, and then in February we learned that the baby is a boy, so I chose a socially-dictated gender-specific colorway and embarked upon my first ever baby blanket project - another success at pattern-following.

As of this writing, the blanket is drying on Meredith's bedroom floor, after last night's wet blocking. I'll add some photos of the finished project "soon"... here's one from last week's "in progress" shot for Ravelry:

Blanket Closeup
Click to embiggen

And last but definitely not least, Merry's Little Mitts. She wanted mittens, I want to learn mittens (thus, these were my first attempt at mittenyness), and then when she tried the first one on halfway in (thank you, Magic Loop), she decided she wanted them fingerless. She's quite pleased with the result:

Merry Little Mitts
Click to embiggen

Thursday, October 29, 2009

H1N1 Poll: Will Your Children Be Vaccinated?

I've received notices from both the elementary school and the middle school, letting me know that if I so choose, my children can receive the H1N1 vaccine.  For free.  At school.  I've also been made aware, thanks to the very same forms, that if a child is under the age of 10, they will need to receive a second shot at least 21 days later.  This was news to me; I had no idea.  As I mentioned to my Twitter pal @StewartMoore as he delivered our local morning news: I thought it was "one and done".  Anyway, that's neither here nor there.

What I'm really interested in is this: Are you having your children vaccinated against H1N1?  Why, or why not? If your affirmative answer is something along the lines of "because they're in the age-range of the risk group", that's not enough information.  All "children" are classified as a risk group.  What is it about that classification that made you want to comply?  And if your negative answer is "because the vaccine is eeeeevil, and full of bees, and formulated in the bowels of Xenu", well, back that up with actual science, please.

Vote in the poll below, and then explain (if you feel like it), in the comments.