Columbia, We Have A Problem

About a month ago, my friend Emma sat for an interview with our local ABC affiliate, WOLO, for their "Corner of Main and Gervais" segment. Emma is Manager of Strategic Mobilization at New Morning Foundation, and she was there to discuss the billboards which Tell Them - a program of the New Morning Foundation - had scattered throughout town, as well as the forum to be held that night at Tapp's Art Center. The interview was broadcast and added to their youtube channel, like the rest of what they do. Lots of us involved with Tell Them shared the interview, and really appreciated ABC's awesomeness in broadcasting Emma's righteous baddassery.

Cool, right? Not so much. Read on:

I shared the video link on 2/21/13, its original air date. Today I went back to re-watch it, and found it was gone. Then, I attempted to share the link again, and found that while the video is "unavailable", its associated information still shows up. Moreover, I've since learned that the interview was taken down the very next day without explanation, and that several calls to the station to ask why have not been returned. My tweet to @abc_columbia on the topic has yet to be answered, but that tweet is only about 4 hours old as of this writing.

This might not sound like a problem to you, but it sure sounds like one to me. Tell Them is an important nonpartisan, mainstream voice of reason with more than 10,000 members across the state of South Carolina. Their billboard campaign and the message it is sending is a call to standardize reproductive health care in our state and ensure that those teaching the subject are themselves properly educated. So what's with hiding that information after the broadcast fact? At best it's poor Internet practice to delete news they've already shared, and at worst it's actively dishonest.

I would like an answer. Wouldn't you?

Screenshot of my original share and reshare attempt: http://flic.kr/p/e4wUN3
Screenshot of Emma's Interview YouTube URL as of 3/19: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6rtcITxF15s
Screenshot of ABC Columbia's tweet: http://flic.kr/p/e4uh2x
Screenshot of ABC Columbia's YouTube channel, where February 21, 2013 no longer seems to have happened: http://flic.kr/p/e4A62L

Ring Ring Ring Bananaphobe

My Dearest Starbucks,

I love you. Let's just get that out of the way first: I honestly love you. I love your coffee. I love my Starbucks Portland mug, a keepsake from my hometown. It's my go-to, my favorite, the one mug I'll wash to use even though there are a dozen others clean in the cupboard. If you're curious, it's from the Skyline Series, the "City of Roses" 18oz mug, which I've owned for over a decade. My favorite coffee drink, the Pumpkin Spice Latte, is so beloved in my heart of coffee hearts that the day it becomes available each year is like my very own special kind of Christmas.

So, now, at this point we're clear on how I feel, right? You know I love you. Thus, dear Bux - can I call you Bux? - I feel sure you will take this carefrontation letter in the spirit in which it is intended. Yes? Okay.

Here's the thing: Your baked goods should be awesome and delicious, but they are not. They're kind of gross, and it's because of the whole display case situation you've got going on.

the contaminated cookie bag

Don't get me wrong; the display case is always a perfectly lovely well-lit presentation offering a tantalizing view of pretty muffins, brownies, crisped rice treats, scones, cake pops, and assorted other goodies. All of these goodies hanging around together in the same open air space as the Banana Walnut Bread is the problem. Why? Well, Bux, I'm glad you asked!

You see, while banana walnut bread should indeed and does taste like banana walnut bread, double chocolate brownies should most definitely not. Iced Lemon Pound Cake also should not taste like bananas, but it does. In fact, I've noticed over and over again that anything and everything coming out of the bakery case tastes like bananas. Cinnamon Chip Scones taste like cinnamon, and chips, and scones... and bananas. Cheese Danishes taste like cheese! Aaaand bananas. Today, I bought an enormous, gorgeous, enormously gorgeous, Chocolate Chunk Cookie, and lo! Neither chocolatey NOR cookie-ey, but it sure did taste like bananas!

The solution, I think, is a simple one, and won't require any new equipment or menu alterations. You know those clear covered dishes you guys use for offering free samples? Stick your banana walnut bread in one o'those bad boys and then but the whole business in the display case.

Bam. Problem solved!

Bux, I believe speak for banana-hating-bakery-goodies-loving Starbucks customers everywhere when I say I want to give you more of my moneydollars, but you're not making it very easy. I'll happily give you more of my hard-earned disposable income for a pastry when I buy a coffee... but I just can't do it again until you get a handle on this banana contamination problem. Because Bux, it is really super gross.

Thank you for your prompt attention to this matter.

Jen Bailey Bergen
Bananaphobe