On My Mind: #MindsOnMain

In 2014 I worked with an almost singular focus to raise money for NAMI via Team TryJen, and hovered around $3500 the day before the walk. Team TryJen would ultimately take home the award for Top Friends & Family Fundraising Team(!).

Today, with under 5 days to go to the 2015 event, we total $215. I don't have the energy to campaign aggressively, these days. I spend most of my energy trying to avoid pain and flareups these days than anything else, and right now I'm trying to conserve energy in order do my part for the NAMI Mid-Carolina ‪#‎MindsOnMain‬ Parade & Block Party on Saturday so that I can walk 5 blocks AND volunteer during the party at Soda City NAMI Mid-Carolina serves such an important purpose in our state, and it relies on fundraising from this event for the majority of its operating budget.

#MindsOnMain Parade & Block Party, 5/2 at Soda City

If you, your employer, or someone you know can help us help the cause, please consider making a donation and/or sharing this post. EVERY dollar helps. Mental illness will touch the lives of 1 in 4 people in any given year [1], and it will do so without discrimination. Professional athletes [2], Beloved and award-winning famous actors [3], your little sister, your dad, your friend, yourself. Depression, anxiety, dementia, addiction, postpartum depression, autism, bipolar disorder... any of the nearly 300 disorders listed in DSM-V - will affect 20% of us PER YEAR. Organizations like NAMI Mid-Carolina are there when we are in need, but they can't be there without crucial funding.

Donate via or sign up to join Team TryJen.


1: WHO Mental Health Gap Action Programme (mhGAP) 
2: Article by Hayley Wickenheiser, 5-time Olympic Medalist
3: Robin Williams, Suicide

Two Adult Cats Need New Homes After Owner Passed Away

UPDATE 5:10pm Thursday January 29, 2015: Sammy and Baby Girl are safe and adopted!

My friend Nick lost his mom right before Christmas. He didn't hear from her over a weekend, which was weird; they were very close. The following Monday, he went to check on her to find his mom's body; she died sometime early in the weekend. Nick is an only child. He lives alone, in an apartment, and he has a kitty of his own. He loves his kitty, his kitty mostly tolerates him, but his kitty will not tolerate any other cat... and neither will his landlords. Nick has until the end of January to finish cleaning out his mother's apartment, and as he does that, he's been visiting the cats daily to feed, water, scoop, and play.

Time is almost up, though. These two cats suffered the loss of their person, and now with 5 days to go they are losing their home with nowhere to go. We've been trying to home them for a month and a half, but nobody wants adult cats, and the shelters and rescues we've asked have regretfully declined - they're overpopulated with adult cats, as it is.

Please, if you can spread the word, share the post, if you know anybody who can take these cats in - please send them my way. Comment here, email jenniferbaileybergen at gmail, tweet @tryjen. These two don't even need to be homed together, since the tuxedo girl sort of totally hates the Maine Coon, but they need homes.

This is Sammy. He's a 10 yr old Maine Coon.

This is Baby Girl. She's a 6 yr old chubster.

We don't know what to do. These cats deserve a home where they will be loved, but we can't find anybody who has a place for them to go. We have offered donations of money and goods to local no-kill shelters, we've asked everybody we know... Nobody can take them. 

There are five days left until these cats are homeless. 

Ideas? Thoughts? Help? 

Meet Scout and Sidney

September 12, 2014, Tim brought home two dogs from Pawmetto Lifeline for us to foster. Adult Maltese boys, a bonded pair nicknamed Antonio (7lb) and Giorgio (4lb), in pretty bad shape. Shaved nearly bald to remove a ton of gross matted fur, each had open sores on their backs and hindquarters, swollen and injured paw pads, and infected toes with horrible claws grown so long that they curled back up around in an S shape. Giorgio has rings on one leg where he grew around a rubber band, and the sores were still healing. Antonio had ear infections which were untreated for so long he developed cauliflower ears; one ear canal & drum is calcified and will likely require surgery. Giorgio arrived with no upper front teeth and two remaining bottom front teeth which he lost the next day. The rest of his teeth were like nothing I've ever seen, except for a few of Antonio's, which looked the same. Their back legs make popping crunch sounds when held. Giorgio's left eye was injured, at some point, resulting in a healed but permanently dented lens. 

We administered antibiotics and antihistamines round the clock, soaked their healing itchy feet and legs in oatmeal baths, doled out eardrops, rubbed ointment into paw pads, brushed, snuggled, and spoon-fed them. I discovered that swaddling relaxed both dogs and immediately interrupted their frantic scratching/chewing; they get swaddled at bedtime now to help them ready for sleep. We visited the Pawmetto Lifeline Spay/Neuter Clinic for ears and paws checkups along the way, dropped them off there again for their dental appointments (as you can probably tell, they do SO much more than "just" spay and neuter, including offering a variety of vaccinations and pest preventatives at major discounts) and then picked them up loopy from sedation and with only a handful of remaining - but healthy! - teeth and mouths full of stitches. We spoon-fed them again, baby food this time, and administered painkillers. 

Over the course of their weeks in our care, we have come to love these little guys. They found the ability to trust us, which amazes me after what they've endured. Where once they were nervous and sad, in pain and scared, we started to see playful and even happy dogs. They hobbled to greet us with joy and wagging tails when Tim or I arrived home. We watched Giorgio cry and shake if he couldn't find Antonio, and knew they need to stay together in a forever home. Near the end of September I spent two nights out of town, and Tim reported a sad Sid, tail down most of the time, but he was right back to normal when I returned (later, he would try to follow me out the front door to work, because where I go, he wants to go). Oh, you guys, the feels.

A couple weeks into this round-the-clock care, Tim said, apropos of nothing, "I've come up with their S names."

So, on October 1, 2014, we made it official with Pawmetto Lifeline. Antonio and Giorgio Foster are now Sidney and Scout Bergen. We are happy "foster failures", we are the forever home where these abused and neglected little boys will spend the rest of their days loved and adored, and they're never going back again.

Nanu Nanu

Nanu nanu, Mork.

If you don't know me, you may not know the... well, the circus of things that contribute to who I am as a person and a professional. I'm a mom, a wife, a dog person (well, a MY dogs person), I identify as a member of a few fandoms (I totally ship Destiel and upset my 14 year old daughter with my vast Harry Styles knowledge), I live with debilitating chronic pain associated with autoimmune diseases, I'm tattooed, a varsity swim parent, a reader, a knitter, a depressive socially anxious introvert, and a social media professional. I know, I don't make sense to me, either.

I work for and volunteer my time, energy, words, and presence to a couple of important causes here in South Carolina. One of those, an organization very close to my heart, is NAMI Mid-Carolina. I was asked to address the Mid-Carolina facebook audience about the suicide of Robin Williams just as I had begun to peek out from behind my own feelings of oppressive grief, depression, and sadness related to the second anniversary of a close friend's suicide. So here's what I wrote. See the original on Facebook, and please give a "like" to NAMI Mid-Carolina while you're there.

By now you have heard, watched, or read reports regarding the death of beloved actor Robin Williams. On behalf of NAMI Mid-Carolina, we would like to express our horror; our grief, condolences, and deep sadness... So we open with National Suicide Prevention Lifeline number: 1-800-273-TALK (8255). 

But you're not about to read another "hey, don't do it, you aren't alone, you have so much to live for" post. No, instead we are going to tell you about how one of the planet's most beloved actors and comedians often spent his days consumed with feelings of worthlessness and fear. Maybe just like you. Maybe just like me. He fought hard to win those battles most of the days, but... today is the day that he lost that fight. I'm certain his wife and children lost. I know the world lost. Maybe this loss could have been you. Maybe it could have been me. Today it is Robin Williams. 

Chances are, Mr. Williams FELT alone, just like you or I have felt alone. Chances are he FELT as if he had nothing to live for. Diagnosed with bipolar disorder in addition to substance addictions, he often talked about using his own "one bit of crazy" in turning bouts of mania into comedy routines to make the world laugh. He drank heavily to quiet his ever-present fear. "It's just literally being afraid," he said. "And you think, oh, this will ease the fear. And it doesn't." When asked what he was afraid of, Williams said "Everything. It's just a general all-around arggghhh. It's fearfulness and anxiety." 

Today, our loss is a person we all recognize, a person for whom we all have a bit in our memories where he mattered, a person who loved nothing so much as he loved to bring JOY. This man who struggled *always* with fear and depression dedicated most of his terrified, depressive, anxious, life to OUR LAUGHTER. Does the suicide of a man who lived for joy and laughter MAKE SENSE? We submit to you that the answer is no. No, it does not make sense. It sounds like a depressive EPISODE. A TREATABLE ILLNESS.
Williams’ publicist gave a short statement with the news of his death, saying that Williams had recently been “battling severe depression”. Robin Williams made no secret of his decades-long fight for mental health, most recently seeking inpatient help last month (July 2014). 

Forbes writes: “Many people who suffer from depression report feeling as though they’ve lost the ability to imagine a happy future, or remember a happy past. Often they don’t realize they’re suffering from a treatable illness, and seeking help may not even enter their mind. Emotions and even physical pain can become unbearable. They don’t want to die, but it’s the only way they feel their pain will end.” 

It's time to talk. Talk about addiction, talk about depression, talk about mania, and TALK ABOUT SUICIDE. It's time to stop buying into the stigma that suicide is shameful and embarrassing. It's time to stop sweeping it under the rug. Tell your stories. Talk about the pain of surviving the self-inflicted death of someone you love. Talk about treating your own suicidal ideations tenderly. Talk about surviving yourself! Talk about how support and understanding mattered, matters, and is there, waiting... for all of us. 

We miss you already, Robin.

About That #LiveLikeRick Tribute Video

James and George created this tribute to Rick Stilwell. James will say that he AND George made it; George will say that he just contributed a few bits but that James did all the work. He said/he said aside, this is a bittersweet video for those of us who knew Rick... It's nice to hear from him again, it's funny, he was funny, and he's just so missed.

The thing for me, though, is that this tribute video is especially important for me: It includes a bit of footage where Rick talked about me (!), suggesting that people should be following me on Twitter. Me! Of all people! I'm just some dweeb, and he was talking about ME! I seriously couldn't believe it. Rick was the coolest of the cool kids, and I was a total nobody... at least, an in-person nobody, and he was talking about me? That's why I'm here talking about him, to tell you not just about this video, but also about that day.

If memory serves, the day Rick recorded the bit about me was a blazing hot day in late August, 2011; it was the day when I finally got to meet Rick in person, on the steps of Cromer's Pnuts during Food Truck Food Court. I heard he would be there, and told The City Girl I wanted to meet THE Columbia social media guru. She made sure to find him; rolled me right up to him in the middle of his lunch, and made a proper IRL introduction (we'd known each other online for ages). That August day in 2011 was a big deal day for me in a lot of ways: It was the first time I beat back the social anxiety enough to attend any of the tweetups; the first time I met most of the "Real Twitterati". I was just standing up the social media department at work for real, and I needed to turn my virtual connections into real ones. Everybody who was anybody knew: RickCaffeinated was the guy you talked to about that in Columbia, SC.

So there I was: Sweaty, self-conscious, scared, nervous, and by the end of the day I had a raging sunburn, too. As it turned out, though, every single person I met was not only super fun and kind, but 100% welcoming and friendly, just as if we'd known each other forever... which, well, we had. Rick was so nice to me that day, answering tons of questions, inviting me to Social Media Club Columbia, and telling me he would happily tell me about how to do what he did, for his going price of a cup of coffee. :)

Anyway. I have been wondering what happened to that clip, and to find that not only did The Misters K and N locate it, but that they chose to include it in this tribute... well, that just means the world to me. In mid January 2013, the day after Rick died, I would go back to Cromer's - which now houses Jamestown Coffee Company - along with lots of the same people who were there that day in 2011. In 2013, we raised our mugs in toast to Rick, shared memories, and said our goodbyes to him.

Please take a minute to watch. Thank you.

Kindness and Local Happiness

Jim Sonefeld. Ring a bell?

You might know him as "Soni". You might know him as the drummer for a band called Hootie and the Blowfish. You might even know him from when he played soccer for the Gamecocks. Me, I moved to South Carolina from the West Coast at the end of 1996, and didn't really connect Jim with any of those things. I saw him around town over the years, but for the longest time I couldn't place him, I just always thought "I know I know that guy from somewhere!" (That somewhere eventually registered as having been MTV). See, when you live in Columbia, SC, the first thing you learn is that everybody knows everybody else, or knows someone who knows their mama. So I chalked up my feeling of deja vu as a part of that.